Film diary

I started taking film photos again. A week ago, I logged back into my facebook account, just so I could get one close sister's birthday date, I'm lame, should write down all my precious people's birthdays on some important note, not in my brain though, I trust my brain so much even though it is a terrible memory machine that has been working so lazily. Before I deactivated it as usual again, I somehow took a look at my facebook photo albums, and there I am, gazing at all my film photo that I vaguely forgot about already. They are so beautiful, the beautifulness I can only describe in just one world: Raw.  Next thing I know, I went to the closet goodwill and settled down myself the Fuji smartshot, not really satisfied with it but that's the best I could find, and then with a couple more fuji film rolls, here I am sharing some photos from my first ever roll with the fuji smartshot. Who agrees with me film photos have a magical power to make our digital ones be so dull next to them. Or at least, film photos have a connection to me that's so difficult to explain until you feel it.     

1. I visited my friend, Laina, we have a weird friendship relationship. The friendship that we don't need to talk, text or see each other often. We probably see each other Idk, 2 times a year? despite living not too far away from each other. But I guess we don't have the burden and the suffocating best friendship that a lot of people have. The friendship that requires "you are mine, you have a responsibility to me, we need to talk once in a while". I do have the relationship like that, It's okay though. But with her, I feel Absolutely free, we are not bound by any invisible string. We are completely being ourselves and there is no awkwardness or oppression between us. We are both more introvert but also extrovert in some aspects. She is the only one that I could have fun dancing together on my rooftop eating the Seattle famous Dick's burger 5 years ago, drinking mike's and pouring all our hearts out to each other. We both agree our friendship is, indeed at some spiritual level and that level might be either in a cult in the past lives 😂  or simply in a tranquil flow that both of us silently appreciate. 

2. You know there are some people, who call themselves photographers that get angry toward people that also call themselves photographers, just because they either don't own a nice camera, selling or taking photos as work ( to make money) or just simply they don't have the eye of a photographer. I am not ashamed to say, I used to be that kind of photographer. I was young and filled with envy to other who bought the same big DSLR camera and claimed themselves as photographers. It was reasonable but also unreasonable.  My jealousy was big. very big, so as my anger. I'm working towards getting rid of that. Thanks for the age and thanks for the lessons I have been through.  Now, How do we define photographer?  According to Wiki, It's a person who makes photographs, and to make money. The first part is correct, though It lacks the " love" word in between " who"  and " make". The second one  I call it bullshit, I call my old-self bullshit. Photographer, at the end, is just a word. Whether you sell your photographs or not,  Taking photos for the love of taking photos, no one can define and stop it, don't be reserved. As long as you love capturing photos, you are an amazing incredible photographer.

3. I created another Instagram account @ckunbeo. I think it's the right time for me to be back to what I loved doing and sharing it with the outside world, of course, my blog is still my most loved one. I was debating myself if I should even continue to post on my beloved old one @kunbeo. I decided not eventually. After all, It no longer presents of exactly how I am now. It was an amazing journey with it till last year,  I'm not brave enough to bring myself to delete it though, I still use it as my stalking account hahaha. The new one, is me at an utterly way as much as I can be, also rest assured, still a lot of hoe selfies :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))) ( jk). Follow me if you like my photos, or follow and unfollow just for the sake of being a savage 👅