May 30, 2017


 Found some old selfies from photo booth

Me being weird in 2016

and New ones,
Me being weird in 2017

May 24, 2017

How I went from 59kg to 43 ( 35 lbs) in 7 months ( Part 1- Maybe- Teehee 😂 )

I now weigh 37/38kg ( 81-84 lbs), my height is 5' ( 154cm), according to smartBMi calculator, I'm certainly categorized as underweight a little bit. I know for now it might be a little freaky, but hey, let me explain my 37-38 kg. It’s pretty different than how I was years ago.

I came to America with a chubby body as I honestly didn’t care about it. The key was: I was happy and healthy at the time. That does matter the most. I still remembered in my first year living here, I ate like there was no tomorrow. I devoured myself to all the good foods that Seattle generously offered me. No regrets. Good times. Venti Frappuccinos every day, especially during summer, happy hours, whoop, that was the gift from heaven sent down for my sweet tooths.  At night, I gobbled down a cup of milk tea. All of the sugar drinks and the food I consumed without working out, I got to the point of being a sumo in my life. I, at the time, didn't give a shit about my weight neither, and yes, I used a shit ton of photoshop in my photos back then. 😅

Things turned around when I started entering university and dating my someone. College is a joke for me, being in college, I was a lazy ass, the subject I learned wasn't even something interesting to make me actually study. I rushed up to my graduation, taking 4-5 classes hopefully I freed myself. But I never knew that college time was actually the happy time for me in the US. In university, the heavy burden cost of taking classes again and the pressure and subject classes actually stressed me out, plus my relationship at the time got objected from our 2 families, I was dying in my stress and just some night, I cried to sleep. I don't know how I did it, I just knew I was losing weight uncontrollably, it was severe. From Nov to May/2014, I went from 59kg to 43kg. There were days I only drank coffee ( with milk, Vietnamese coffee for more detail :)) ), and I still wonder How the f* I could survive at the time without fainting =)))))))))). Without eating and walking, commuting every single day, more weights came out and nothing gained back.  I indeed somehow felt really healthy at the time, my face skin remained perfectly glowing rosy cheeks. When I started losing weights and people started compliments, it was a happy time at first.  I saw nothing wrong with my body, little did I know, my body just delayed the aftereffect. Not too long after that, I slowly began to feel dizzy all the time, I couldn’t even lift a bottle pack of water out of shopping cart, which I used to carry 2 packs up to the floor to my apt easily.  When I realize there is something wrong with my body, it was already late. Overtime, My body was getting weak and weaker, my heart kept racing, I got fatigue every time I ate, climbing stairs was a challenge of a hiker climbing to the upper of a mountain. I was suffering.  I never realized eating could be this painful. Deep in my mind I knew still love eating, but the thing was my stomach doesn’t like eating anymore, let’s say my stomach is 5 part, but If I eat more than 1 part, it started hurting, bloating so bad, gassy all the time,  when It passed my endurance, I threw up, or I might say my stomach actually push my food up then the aftermath was me suffering constipation all the time 😂. Toilet was truly my bedroom at the time.  This led to me losing my appetite and stopped eating, made it even worse for my health and stomach. Almost all my friends knew I would throw up if my stomach got to " its full", which was a tiny amount of food.  I felt miserable.   Pretty much Like everyone else, I turned to WebMD as a self-check up, and all my matched IBS disorder, but even I knew my symptoms, no actions were taken. 

It got so bad that immediately when I back to VN on vacation. I had to go to a hospital in Viet Nam, and as usual Vietnamese style, they diagnosed me with some kind of stomach cancer, prescribed me a bunch of medicines. My mom, luckily, a very smart person, told them I would die of kidney failure because of these pills before I get to my cancer LOL. Anyway, long story short turned out if you ever go to the hospital in Viet Nam for the stomach problem, " 100%, they would diagnose you with this shit" - come from a mouth of a famous doctor in Viet Nam, who is an acquaintance to my mom. I have an approve that one of my friend, who is perfectly healthy inside out, went back to VN to do a full checkup, Lo and behold, they diagnosed her with this shit again :)).  Also, doesn't mean there aren't any virus in your stomach, because Viet Namese food is very dirty ( I'm so sorry my beloved VN, I love you so and the food as much as I love my cat ( oh wait, not my cat, as much as my coffee in the morning :)),  but man, why you have to be that dirty), so most likely 99% Vietnamese has a high chance of getting stomach cancer anyway. Do Approach Chinese herbs, or Vietnamese herbs medicine if you are Vietnamese and want to detox and cleanse your body. 

Before that, when I traveled to Japan, eating was fucking hard to me, eating became heaven and hell to me. Because I needed to eat to get the energy and with the thirst of exploring food, I forced myself to eat. But the more I forced myself, the more fatigue and stomach aches I had to live through. I told myself this was enough. I gotta do something: I need to eat, I f*ing need to eat and got myself over this sh*t. Here is a fun part. My body was too weak to handle. I learned eating like a baby again, With the help from my parents and my SO. AlThough I hadn’t started my healthy diet yet, the symptoms got better for while until  I started working on my next job, it was a stressful job, and as usual, I put myself into the unhealthy way of living again, I rarely ate anything just because I was lazy LOL.  I didn't bother eating during breaks at work, and then when I went on the road trip, I stuffed myself as much as I could, and this time, I believe my stomach has had enough and decided it's time to detox or whatever. It rejected a certain type of food like steak, pork... the smell of them already scared me away. The final straw for me to begin my endeavor of living better way was my skin, which reacts badly to what I eat now. FYI, I used to have a perfect skin, no pimples, no pores, no whomever, unless some big cyst appears during your period, that's all, despite the time I didn't eat or eating shit, It still remained as good as It had always been. It started changing through 12/2015 to 4/2016 and during the end of May/2016 and 10-12/2016. It was rash all over my face, it was like a combination of eczema and probably candida- a type of yeast infection due to imbalance hormone, or because I was working in clothing surrounding environment, and boy, the chemical from new fabric/clothes wasn't a good thing at work for me. My face was like a lobster. It wasn't pimples, but It wasn't fun either. But this matter will be discussed in my future post. I started my healthy diet during June and August, and boy, my skin was at the peak of my life, it was beautiful and glowy. 

Thinking my skin was normal and perfect again, I rebounded back from Sep to Dec/2016. But this time, it was A lot of fried chickens, every week.  needless to say, my health didn't go down that much, but my skin indeed again, with the winter weather on top of that,  down the drain it goes. 

Again, I told myself if I didn't do it properly, keeping up with my life, then I would struggle with energy and my health, even worse, affecting my daily habits and my lifestyle. Do I want to live like that? Hell no.  In the last 6 months, I actually woke up very early, drank my lemon juice every single day, and did my workout/ energy building yoga,  before doing anything else, controlled my diet in the best healthy way as I could.  I successfully maintained my routine till now ( cross my finger never ever give up in the future).  My weight now is a result of me working out.  Not even a single day went by I skipped these things and It makes me happier than ever. I also approached a more holistic and nutrition diet, I learned more about food, vitamins, minerals because I believe these would have long term effect in the future rather than approaching western medicine.

Taken this morning. (23/May)
    For more fully clothes =)), you can scroll all my posts way back to Feb- March /2014, when I stopped using photoshop. 😆

For people who diet, I went through that, carrying my chubby body. I got mocked and sometimes bullied because of my appearance. I had so much time going through trying to diet, It always failed. The best I made it through was 2 weeks diet, yes, 2 weeks diet, in high school, on low carb, until I said screwed it I eat whatever I liked, it was very hard. I even attempted to buy diet pills because my philosophy was I had no time for exercise :)).  To be honest, very honestly, when People asked how did I manage to lose so many weights during the 7 months, I told them what I did: stress and stop eating. If you want to diet without exercise and not being healthy, eat less than the calories your body require to consume,  starve. Or on low carb, or, relying on diet supplement. Low carb, though, Would put you on high cholesterol.  But lets me tell you one thing, that diet would kill you slowly, not in the near future, but when you get old, it would be too late to regret,  just as how my body has been through it. Before doing any crazy diet or getting yourself into a stressful mood and stop eating, asked your body if it is already prepared for it. I won't stop you because it's your life, it's your choice and maybe, the outcome will turn out better for you than me. Ironically,  my secondary and high school were filled with me trying to lose weight and never a single weight disappeared and here, I never intended to diet during that time and the amount weight I loss was incredible,  as well as the consequences I had to pay was also incredible 😂.  It took me a while for my stomach to get back on normal, even now, It wasn't that the best like me in 4 years ago but trust me, I once was way worse than before, and now I'm so proud to say  I'm happy mentally, and physically, and for the first time ever, I actually felt like I was myself again. Thanks for all the things I have gone through because It actually pushed me to learn the way I was living and had to learn taking care of myself.  Every day, I educate myself more and more about how to be as healthy as I can and keeping my routine regularly because I know, I'm the only captain of my body.  I never shared this story with anyone even my friends, they just knew I had some sort of stomach problem except my family and my S/o, who witnessed what I have been struggling with and I'm thankful that they are always there for me and help me stand stronger in the fights with myself. Because, at the end, You're your biggest enemy! 


May 17, 2017

Bye winter (2)

Coat: Zara A- line duffle coat
Bag: f21
Shoes: Daisy boots vagabond

Coat: Asos
Shoes: Nastygal

Jean: thrift store - Value village
Shoes: NB
Coat: Zara
Knit: Uniqlo

Pants: Uniqlo
Sweatshirt: F21 - Link

Cardigan: H&M

Skirt: F21
Top: H&M man

May 10, 2017

Bye winter (1)

H&M all the way

Sweater: F21
Shoes: Boohoo

Coat: F21 I believe.

Hand in the pocket, my signature pose.

Sweater: Uniqlo
Culottes: Zara
Shoes: Vagabond daisy boots

May 8, 2017

Coat :Forever 21 
Jean: Thrift
Shoes: Vagabond Daisy boots