January 24, 2015

Bitter end year

The last couple months were really tough for me.  One day, i walked around with phone in bag and suddenly,  a b****  came from nowhere, robbing my phone and ran like a train runs with its highest speed without waiting for me telling her: " Hey, my phone hasn't been backed up in 50  something... weeks"

not long after that, USPS lost my passport when i submitted for Canada Visa. ( -.-)

As if this isn't enough , one day i felt every thing around me was spinning like crazy, my ears were about to explode. It ended up with me diagnosed with Vertigo, which means i have to live with everything spinning for a while now.

I had thought that: " Oh, now what's next, this is gonna be a bitter end of 2014 for me"

However, it didn't really end that bad. I got my passport back,after like month without hearing anything from it,  although USPS still called me and talking how they couldn't track my passport and didn't know where it was now ( hell yeah, it was in my home now , man). At least, i was able to make a trip to Vancouver.

It was still a hard time for me. I tried to balance myself everyday, not to get so angry or sad, and being scared. Every time, i laid my head, the world spun around again. I was so scared, i blamed my ears, i blamed why god treats me like that, my little fun  came from the instagram. However, i became so obsessed to it, hopefully got more likes from it, and yet, i accidentally tortured myself again. One thing led to another thing, i hurt people around me: family, my bf. None of my friends knew what happened to me, they thought i was okay since i'm so good in hiding emotions. My memories decreased because of the vertigo. At the time, i felt like i'm trapped myself into my sadness.

For now, I feel my life is better. If you follow my blog for awhile, you know my mom is a true buddhist.  She hadn't never been into buddha ever, but in one moment of her life she realized what her life path was. In Viet Nam, they usually call that realization as ngộ, means you're awake something extraordinary. She tries to teach that to me, i got it for couple months in Viet Nam but whenever i came back to US, i got distracted by things around me and  never learned it all since then. Because of this depression, i found myself in believing buddha, learning, and looking into myself.  I used to get so sad, when friendship got bad, since i always thought friends are really important, you have to keep it no matter what, you have to treasure them as much as you can, like family. But now, i need to treasure myself more, i'm learning to be happy even though i'm alone. I say that doesn't mean friend mean nothing, what i'm trying to say is that you don't need to be dependence on your friends to get happy emotion when you ge upset or sad. Happiness comes from inside you, not from outside.

I'm so thankful for what the troubles happened recently. They were like challenges for me in life to learned life lessons and how much family is important and supportive to me and then the Boyfriend also as best friend, who flew 8 hours to take of me being temporary disability and also to have vacation =)).

Anyway, I decided it's time to write again instead of so instagram addicted. I'm trying to wrap up my japan travel diary but it seems impossible till no-one-knows =)) so i post Vancouver travel videos instead ;). These videos are really shaky thanks for my filming skills but hopefully you enjoy it!

For the Vancouver 2, i forgot to put subtitles on it but mostly, we spent our day on car travelled around city, we've tried poutine, special food from Canada, which is fries with gravy, smoked meat and curd cheese. It looks pretty fattening but really good.  Vancouver in general looks like Seattle, not really special, i will tell you more in Vancouver photo diary ;). Also stay tuned for the last minute of the second one, you will see my face clearly =)) through video. No more pts =)).