November 24, 2013

Because of you.

  Wow ! It has been such a long time i haven't written any blog post, longest time ever. I thought about saying goodbye to my blog during the time. Life takes full my attentions: school, family, friends, him.  I actually wrote multiple times and kept it in storage without finishing them yet. I miss writing but whenever i wrote, emotions kept flying away, which it hasn't happened to me before. Never.
  During these past times, my life literally was such a movie. After coming back from the summer trip with my mom, i wrote a blog post and deleted it after couple days.  Things changed completely during that moment. My mom came back to Viet Nam, which made my already broken-heart was more hurtful. I thought i was solid to go over through this time, i almost did except i couldn't forget him- the one that made my heart broken. My mind was full of tons of questions, that started with a question " why" and also ended up with " why" question : why did he spend times talk to me? Why was he so cold, so mean person? I hate falling in love with american, Why could my heart beat so fast for this guy? Why do i love him so much? I didn't cried but i couldn't sleep. I missed him like crazy since i decided to stop talking to him, which to me, it was good decision.  Soon i discovered why he did that to me. We went through a lot of stages, feelings, stories and also tears after then. I almost believed there wouldn't be any chance we could see each other again, hand in hand, side by side. Our parents, they don't believe and allow our relationship. I remembered there was one night i stood in an empty hall of my school crying, felt so hopeless. He cried too, which it hadn't happened to him for around eight or nine years only because he couldn't do anything, his anger to himself became tears. We broke up. It was a hard time, but as people say hard time and distance make you realize what is important to you. We knew we loved each other so much,  this time at least.  We decided just let it be, cheered each other, spent times talking whenever we were free and tried to convince our parents. Luckily, we all have good friends, who are willing to help us, give us supports. I sometimes gave up already but he was such a person that never gets mad because of my complex personality, that is i always use horoscope as an excuse: because my mother chose to give birth to me in september under libra star, which says that a libra woman can be beautiful and happy like a flower in the morning, but at night, she switches to her darkest side, cries alone without nobody knows.Yes, it's truly me .  Couple Weeks ago, we decided huge plan, probably only him who actually did that. And last night, he booked a ticket, yes, ticket to Seattle , flying to my arms, in Christmas. Well, despite of the fact that  he gotta eat subway all the time living here because of my cooking skills LOL

It's not a long time though, and we still have a long future to go. We would be together and have a happy ending in the future or probably we turn to different ways but although whatever will happen in the future, we forsure know that we already had a really good meaning time. A time that both of us kept fighting hard for our relationship. Parents, distance, trust. All i want to say, if you really want some thing that is so hard to reach to, keep trying, because i believe life will make it up for you as a gift to your try.

( i still use instagram so stop by if you wanna jump a little bit into my recent life :), and  i definitely will keep writing from now on)